Sergeant Jeffords Quotes Page 1 of 25

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Quote from the episode Beach House

Terry: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Quote from the episode Halloween

Terry: I'm a detective. I will detect.

Quote from the episode Stakeout

Terry: The hippo with heads on both ends, that's Hitchcock and Scully.
Amy: How do they defecate?
Terry: It's a kid's book, Santiago!

Quote from the episode The Slump

Boyle: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to] Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Quote from the episode Sal's Pizza

Cory: It was like taking candy from a baby.
Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don't give candy to a baby! They can't brush their teeth!

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Holt: Still waiting, sergeant.
Terry: It's just, the target looks exactly like a friend of mine. It's freaking me out.
Holt: You have a friend, who's just a silhouette?
Terry: Yes!

Quote from the episode Beach House

Jake: You guys, this is gonna be fine. I mean Terry's our boss and he comes with us every year.
Terry: Correction, you bring Vacation Terry, and he is no man's boss. When the slippers are filled, Terry is chilled.

Quote from the episode The 9-8

Captain Holt: Look, I know this is an inconvenience; however, I expect you all to be accommodating to our guests.
Sergeant Jeffords: Don't worry, sir, we will be cordial A.F. "As Frasier." Love that show.

Quote from the episode The Party

Terry: Don't move as a group! You're not gazelles!

Quote from the episode Chocolate Milk

Sergeant Jeffords: Your head is so small. It is so small. Where do you keep your brains?

Quote from the episode The Tagger

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Quote from the episode Lockdown

Terry: Plus, the longer I stay out of my house today, the better. My brother-in-law, Zeke, is in town.
Captain Holt: Oh, I remember Zeke. Large gentleman. Calls you Tiny Terry.
Terry: Also teensie Terry, Teeny Weeny Terry Berry, and Little Dumb Dumb. You know, it's that lack of effort on the last one that really gets me.

Quote from the episode The Mole

Sergeant Jeffords: I was raised on disco. Little Terry loved to hustle.

Quote from the episode The Ebony Falcon

Sergeant Jeffords: What's my name?
Jake: Terry Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: What is my name?
Jake: The Ebony Falcon.
Sergeant Jeffords: And what does The Ebony Falcon do?
Jake: Takes every precaution to ensure his own safety.
*Terry breathes heavily*
Takes bad guys to jail and bad girls to bed.
Sergeant Jeffords: Hell yeah he does. Except now the Ebony Falcon is monogamous and too tired for sex so his only indulgence is fresh-fruit yogurt parfaits.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Captain Holt: Tell me about Peralta.
Sergeant Jeffords: Jacob Peralta is my best detective. He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up.
Captain Holt: That was very well put.
Sergeant Jeffords: I've talked a lot about Jake in my departmentally-mandated therapy session.

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