Captain Holt: Good afternoon. On this sad day, I'd like to say a few words about Commissioner Wuntch.
[A giant video monitor above the altar comes on and plays a video of Captain Holt recorded moments earlier:]
Captain Holt: Madeline smelled like dog crap.
[present:]
Captain Holt: I'm sorry. I... I don't know what... [Adam waves] Adam, what are you doing?
Adam Jarver: I'm showing everyone your true colors, Raymond Holt. Enjoy the show, people!

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Jake: Wait, Wuntch is dead?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah. The Commissioner's office just notified us.
Captain Holt: No way that's true. As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant, "I'm not buying it."
Rosa: [laughs]

Sergeant Jeffords: Terry said he had some news from the office of Commissioner Wuntch.
Captain Holt: [groans] What does that human blister want now? Does she intend to demote me even further? Or perhaps she'll transfer me to the swamps of New Jersey so I can patrol the sinkhole where she was spawned.