Captain C.J. Jason Stentley: You know, I actually did DJ my sister's wedding.
It did not turn out well. Apparently, there's such a thing as too much Smash Mouth.

Sergeant Jeffords: And, Gina, you can't run that space heater 24/7 anymore.
Gina: Space heater? Excuse me, this is a Fornax Radiant Comfort System, and her name is Jacinta.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, well, Jacinta's gotta go.
Gina: He didn't mean that, darling.
Sergeant Jeffords: Seriously, turn off the space heater.
Gina: No.
Sergeant Jeffords: Do it, now. That's an order.
Gina: Yeah, well, you don't wanna start a battle of the wills with Gina Linetti because you will emerge from that battle a broken man. Not to brag, but I was name-checked in my kindergarten teacher's suicide note.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh my God.

Sergeant Jeffords: Seriously? The heater's under your skirt?
Gina: Maybe. You can't prove that.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, I can. There's a cord running under it, and I think you may be on fire.
Gina: Mm, so?
Sergeant Jeffords: What do you mean "so"?
Gina: I'm not giving up Jacinta.
Sergeant Jeffords: You are on fire, Gina. You do not have the upper hand in this situation.
Gina: I always have the upper hand.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not when there's flames shooting out of your butt!
Gina: Especially when there's flames shooting out of my butt.

Amy: That's why they say "it's test time, so diaper up." They say that, I've never said that. I've never worn a diaper during test. Who would wear a diaper during a test? That's ridiculous, I mean-