The Tagger Season 1, Episode 2 - Aired September 24, 2013

The Tagger

Fed up with Jake's petulant attitude, Captain Holt assigns him to a mundane graffiti case. When the culprit is apprehended and turns out to be the Deputy Commissioner's son, Peralta and the Captain struggle over how to proceed. Meanwhile, Gina's psychic friend frightens Boyle.

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Guest Stars: Dirk Blocker as Hitchcock, Joel McKinnon Miller as Scully, James M. Connor as Deputy Commissioner Podolski, Michael Grant as Trevor Podolski, Mike Hagerty as Captain McGintley, Artemis Pebdani as Carlene, Darlene Kardon as Grammy Nona Boyle, Allen Benatar as Guy named Mark

Writers: Norm Hiscock

Director: Craig Zisk

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Episode Quotes

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Deputy Commissioner: What are you doing? I told you to back off, Peralta.
Jake: First off, the name's Santiago. Detective Amy Santiago. Second, I'm arresting your son. Which, as I say it aloud, seems like an unwise choice, but it's the one I'm making. Once again, my name is Amy Santiago.

Rosa: Thank you, Carlene. Your entire life is garbage.

Sergeant Jeffords: Baby, I've got some bad news. Someone painted a giant penis on our minivan. No, you can not have an SUV now. Those things roll, baby, they roll!

Jake: Has anyone ever told you you look just like a statue?
Captain Holt: Yes.


When Jake arrives late for work, he finds the Captain standing by his desk. The Captain calls out Jake on his mistakes and untidiness in front of the rest of the squad.

Later, Terry leads a briefing for the squad. Jake fills them in on a vandal who's been painting male genitalia on police cars. Jake's plan to catch the perp is to plant a decoy squad car, while he observes from an undercover car. Terry offers Jake his mini-van since the perp has already spotted three undercover vehicles. Captain Holt decides he will tag along with Jake to "babysit" him. Amy, Rosa and Charles are assigned to search a drug dealer's house.

In the bullpen, Gina introduces her "psychic" friend, Carlene, to Charles, Amy and Rosa to help them with their case. Carlene says the colors blue and yellow are involved, along with the letters L, R, S, T, W, E and B. The detectives are not appreciative of Carlene's skills. Meanwhile, Jake complains to Terry about Holt following him around, especially since it means he won't be able to play his mix-tape in the undercover car. When Charles goes to apologize to Carlene for mocking her talent, she tells him she has a vision of Rosa never loving him back.

When Jake goes to the decoy car dressed in a disguise, Holt is already there. Captain Holt is critical of Jake's undercover persona, Harvey Nargenbloom, and particularly his choice of footwear. After Jake complains about Holt's babysitting, the Captain says he will back off when Jake shows him he can do every part of his job perfectly. Jake agrees to show the Captain he can take his work seriously. When Jake notices the minivan they're in is being vandalized, he and the Captain chase after the perp on foot. Despite Jake losing one of his sandals during the chase, they manage to corner the perp in an alleyway.

Back in the precinct, Jake is regretting agreeing to the Captain's terms as he struggles to fill out the perfect police report. Before starting the report, Jake goes to talk to Sergeant Jeffords in search of glitter, to make the perfect police report sparkle. Before he quickly leaves, Jake tells Terry the perp spray  painted a penis on his minivan.

Amy, Rosa and Boyle search the drug dealer's apartment. Amy discovers the drugs hidden in a green clothes hamper, which is a relief to Charles as it means the psychic was wrong. Back at the precinct, Jake's vandal is being uncooperative. When Charles tells Gina her psychic was wrong, Gina points out that Carlene mentioned the colors blue & yellow, which make green, and the letters L and B, which could stand for laundry basket. Terry phones his wife to say their mini-van now has a penis spray painted on it.

After Jake manages to finger print the uncooperative perp, he finds the vandal is Trevor Podolski, the Deputy Police Commissioner's son. Meanwhile, Rosa, Amy and Charles bag their evidence. Gina jokes about taking some of the seized narcotics home.  Boyle is uncomfortable about Rosa given his fears the psychic is right about her never loving him back.

Jake goes to the Captain's office to inform him that their vandal is the Deputy Commissioner's son. Jake is worried his career could be threatened if he continues to process Trevor. Despite Jake's plea for help, Captain Holt tells him it's his decision to make. Meanwhile, Carlene is back with another vision for Charles. She tells him if he leaves the chair he's sitting in, he will be terribly injured.

Jake gathers the rest of the squad in the briefing room to ask for their advice on his predicament. Before Jake can think of a solution, Gina tells him Deputy Commissioner Podolski is there to see him. Unsurprisingly, the Deputy Commissioner wants his son released without charge. Jake insists he must process Trevor. When Jake gives the Deputy Commissioner his thorough report to read through, Podolski throws it in the trash and walks out with his son.

When Rosa finds Charles rolling around the office in his chair, he admits he's worried about Carlene's prediction. Rosa punches Charles in the arm, telling him he'll get hurt if he stays in the chair, too. Rosa tells Charles to ignore the hack psychic's advice and make his own destiny.

Jake goes to Captain Holt's office to say the case was taken out of his hands, and the Podolski kid will not be charged. Captain Holt tells Jake he called other precincts to find out more about Trevor Podolski, learning he's been brought in dozens of times for various crimes and every time his father bails him out. When Jake thinks he's a lucky jerk, the Captain says he feels bad for the kid, because what kind of father would care so little for his son that he lets him get away with everything.

Realizing the Captain is right, Jake says he's going to go arrest the kid. Jake and Captain Holt pull up behind Podolski's car with the sirens wailing. When Trevor and his father get out, Jaks places cuffs on Trevor and tells him he's under arrest. After Podolski threatens Jake and the Captain, Captain Holt backs Jake up. Captain Holt says Podolski isn't the first superior office to threaten him, but he's still standing here because he does his job and he does right.

At a squad briefing, Boyle tells Gina her psychic is wrong, but Gina still feels Rosa isn't into him. As the briefing begins, Jake emerges from a sleeping bag - on time, but not in uniform.