413 - The Audit Aired April 11, 2017

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With the crime rate lowered, Brooklyn will be shutting down one of its precincts - permanently. The Nine-Nine is confident they will be evaluated fairly, until the official auditor turns out to be Amy's ex-boyfriend, Teddy. The whole squad then must band together to try to save the precinct.

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Guest Stars: Kyle Bornheimer as Teddy, Jama Williamson as Rachel

Episode Quotes

Jake: He's gonna shut this place down, and we're gonna get shipped off to separate precincts. I don't think our relationship can survive that.
Amy: I mean, even if we don't work together, we can still be a couple.
Jake: If I don't see you every day, I will forget who you are. I'm like a goldfish.

Teddy: You know what? We're just looking to eliminate waste.
Captain Holt: I assure you, you'll find zero waste here.
Teddy: Really? Because I did notice during my preliminary examination that you recently purchased a $21,000 copy machine?
Captain Holt: Well, that machine saves money in terms of man-hours. Uh, if you excuse me, Sergeant Wells, we need to go to the BRB. It's BRB time. We're BRB-ing.

Captain Holt: Make space.
Jake: You make space! This closet is for people who are freaking out.
Captain Holt: Oh, I'm fully freaking out. I just experimented with an unfamiliar acronym in public. BRB what does it even mean?
Jake: Be right back.
Captain Holt: It has the same number of syllables as the acronym. What's the point?

Charles: Oh, God, they're gonna shut this precinct down and separate me and Jake. Our friendship is over. If he doesn't see my face every day, he'll forget who I am. He's like a goldfish.

Captain Holt: Now, what do we do about the rats?
Charles: Well, lucky for us, I have recently come into a lot of wolf urine.
Rosa: That's lucky for us how?
Charles: It creates a scent impression that there are predators nearby. I've been dousing Nikolaj's shoes with it to scare off bullies at his preschool.
Rosa: Did it work?
Charles: No, now they call him pee boy. He's much worse off. But wolf urine definitely scares off rats. We can use it to herd them toward the traps.

News Stories

Title Date Posted
413 'Serve & Protect' Press Release April 3 2017

FOX has released the synopsis for the April 18 episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, "Serve & Protect".  Full story