Captain Holt: [on the phone] Kevin, they're not coming. Yes, I know you've already started soaking the rice. Couldn't we just eat it ourselves? I understand you purchased four portions of rice. Yes, that's a great idea. We'll eat the extra rice for breakfast. I love you, as well.

Rosa: Thank you for the invite, but I'm not really having people meet Jocelyn yet. I'm still feeling things out with her.
Captain Holt: But Boyle says you brought Jocelyn to Shaw's last week.
Rosa: That was unplanned.
Captain Holt: Sure, but now that the squad has all met her, surely you can't object to her having some rice with Kevin and me?
Rosa: Okay, it's just that you can be a bit judgmental.
Captain Holt: What a stupid thing to say. Name one time when I have been judgmental.
Rosa: Okay.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: What a stupid thing to say.
[present:]
Captain Holt: Oh, I see. Mere seconds ago.

Charles: Listen, I'm sorry. I guess you were right about the therapist.
Jake: Yeah, well, that's nice of you to say, Charles, but actually, when I was stalling Dr. Tate, I started talking about my parents' divorce, and it felt really good. I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think I'm gonna make an appointment with a shrink.
Charles: Jake, that is so great. And I know a guy who's really good. You will love having him inside of you.
Jake: Okay.
Charles: What? Oh, come on, mister. Grow up. Get your mind out of the gutter, ya perv!