Jake: Hello, everyone. My name is Roger Strikewell, and I will be your guest auctioneer this evening. So many faces to look at. I won a radio contest, and I'm so excited to be here tonight to sell you all of these cool, old, Greek things. Our first item up for bid is lot number 344. It is this old "vase," "vahs" if you're nasty. It was made in the year five and depicts the classic Greek fable: Boy meets girl, boy has goat legs. And on the back, just a whole bunch of wheat. So let's start the bidding at $10. [all hands go up] Okay, started it way too low.