Sergeant Jeffords: That DNA test has to be wrong. I mean, Charles is the most Boyle-y of all the Boyles.
Jake: You know what? I'm gonna call Charles's dad, get to the bottom of this. [on the phone] Hey, Lynn? It's Jake. Hi. Hey, can I ask you about Charles's paternity real quick?
[six hours later:]
Jake: All right. Thanks, Lynn. Bye. [hangs up]
Sergeant Jeffords: What on Earth took so long?
Jake: Well, the first five hours was mostly just sobbing and gasping for air. Then he told me that Charles's mom had an affair with a rival florist. Lynn always suspected he might've been Charles's dad, but he decided he loved him so much, it didn't matter.
Sergeant Jeffords: I don't understand. Charles looks just like all the other Boyles.
Jake: Apparently that's not genetic. The Boyles cuddle their children so much, it shapes their bones that way. He likened it to how they grow square watermelons.