Captain Holt: Peralta, you can present the first argument from your, uh [scoffs] scribbled list of feelings.
Jake: I'll have you know that I have some data-driven arguments as well. According to a study I read, people with kids were less likely to report that they were happy in their lives than people without kids. Now, call me crazy, but being happy tends to make me feel, uh, pretty happy.
Amy: Where did you read this study?
Jake: Well, it wasn't something I read so much as told about.
Amy: And who told you about it?
Jake: Hitchcock.
Amy: Hitchcock?
Jake: Yeah.
Amy: That seems like a pretty intellectual thing for him to mention. What was the context?
Jake: He had invested in a NuvaRing competitor called Vag-a-Plug and was practicing his sales pitch on me.
Amy: This is your first argument? Your opening statement?
[bell dings]
Captain Holt: Point to Amy.