Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Return of the King
Charles: What do you think I should do?
Captain Holt: Let me tutor Nikolaj. Nothing too strenuous. Maybe some geometry, statistical mechanics, perhaps some Latin lyric poetry thrown in for fun.
Charles: Oh, I don't know. He's really booked.I guess I could cancel his cartooning class, but he really loves it.
Captain Holt: Don't do that. I hate to think of all the great cartoons humanity missed out on because Einstein was just too busy reinventing physics.
Charles: Okay, I'll cancel the class.
Captain Holt: I mean, who needs relativity when we could've had Einstein's take on lasagna-eating cats.
Charles: I said I'd cancel.
Captain Holt: Did he hate Mondays? We'll never know.
Charles: Okay, I'm going. I'm going!
Quote from the episode Ding Dong
Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.
Quote from Rosa
Amy: Rosa? Are you stuck in there?
Rosa: No, I'm in here by choice.
Amy: Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door.
Rosa: No. That was the pipes.
Amy: Or, is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help? You know, you can't spell "independent" without "dependent."
Rosa: And you can't spell "Go [bleep] yourself" without "[bleep] you."
Quote from Gina
Gina: Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay. Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.
Jake: Gina?
Gina: Sorry, I'm doing my vocal warm-up.
Quote from Captain Holt
Charles: Nikolaj had a half-day at school for Mariano Rivera's birthday. I'm watching him on my lunch break. Nikolaj, say "hi" to Captain Holt.
Nikolaj: Hi, Captain Holt! How's Mr. Kevin?
Captain Holt: Stressed. His annual budget review is today, and a recent change in federal policy means his grant situation is tenuous. At best.
Nikolaj: Okay.