Jake: Now then, let's review our targets, shall we? First we have the Santiagos: Camila and Victor. They are traditional, reserved, and like their daughter, controlling.
Amy: I wouldn't say I'm controlling. I would say I'm Type A. You should write Type A there instead of controlling.
Jake: Vivid example of what we're up against.

Amy: Sir, I'm sure you had your reasons for going to Peralta, but this is exactly the type of job I would love to have.
Captain Holt: Okay, the next time someone threatens to kill me, I'll come straight to you.
Amy: Thank you, sir. I can't wait. I didn't mean- Let's catch this bastard.

Jake: You might wanna stand back for this, sir. It can get pretty intense.
Amy: [YELLING] All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-state ambulance rides. Scully will fake a medical emergency.
Scully: Don't need to fake it. Always having at least one.
Amy: Great. You call an ambulance and have it take us here to Monroe, Louisiana. The ambulance can drive 25 miles over the posted speed limit, so we'll get there by 9:00 p.m. There's a small airport there, mostly servicing crop dusters. Of course, they can't take passengers, but thanks to a loophole in H.R. 377551, police officers are allowed to commandeer any plane in the interest of national security. The crop duster will land at an airstrip outside of Finksburg, Maryland. We'll take a cab to Baltimore, jump on the 6:48 a.m. train to New York, arriving at 9:26. Kevin will meet us at Penn Station with a fresh Captain's uniform. From there, it's a 29-minute cab ride to One Police Plaza. You change on the way, and we should get to your meeting with five minutes to spare. Stop clapping, you idiots! We gotta move, move, move!
Jake: I love her.

Jake: And our second option is surveillance footage of Detective Amy Santiago soliciting drugs using perfect grammar.
Amy: It's not that weird to say, "may I have some cocaine?"
Jake: It is.

Captain Holt: Why didn't you just tell me the truth?
Kevin: [sighs] Because I love our annual trips to Saratoga Springs. The two of us driving in silence, looking at the barren trees. It's perfect. I I didn't wanna lose that.

Roger Peralta: Hey, everyone, I'm sorry for not being "dressed." I didn't think you guys were gonna be so early.
Victor Santiago: We arrived at the agreed upon time.
Roger Peralta: Right. So, like, super early.

Amy: Mrs. Peralta, I love this new ceramic that you painted. You know, my mom paints as well.
Karen Peralta: Really?
Camila Santiago: Yes. I paint on canvases though.
Jake: Oh. And that's different?
Karen Peralta: Very.
Camila Santiago: Completely.
Karen Peralta: I just always found canvas to be too restricting. For me with bowls and vases and furniture, the world is my canvas.
Camila Santiago: Yes, and for me, with canvas, the canvas is my canvas.
Jake: She said "canvas" so much.