Jake: I know you're making fun of me, but that sexy voice is really getting me going.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

Gina: My mom is marrying, shudder, Charles's dad, toilet emoji.

Captain Holt: I remarked afterwards that I wished the officiant had been more efficient. It was very funny. Kevin still talks about it. Maybe I should open with that zinger?

Gina: Give me the ring.
Jake: You sound like Gollum.
Gina: That means nothing to me. I don't see those movies, I'm too pretty.