Amy: Uh, we kind of need you to fix it before our friend gets back today.
Boban: I'm sorry, it's gonna take a while, and I have other appointments.
Gina: Well, can you cancel them? I didn't want to do this, but our friend is a cop, and she's caught in a Brooklyn Heights shooting right now.
Boban: Oh! So you think you're the first people that ever needed a toilet fixed 'cause a loved one's life was in danger.
Amy: Yes?
Boban: You're not. Welcome to New York.
Gina: That's a grim commentary on the city we live in.

Gina: It's Gina's phone. Leave me a voice-mail. I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993.

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Gina: Wait, first, let's say a prayer. Dear Beyonce, Solange, Rihanna, someone cool that's white, Cardi B, please bless this flush. A-women.

Charles: Hello? You know what, I'm trying to keep this line open, so I don't have time for your bull crap. Good-bye, Mom.

Gina: The first thing we gotta do, shut off the water supply. Did I do that? That's an Urkel reference, from the show "Family Matters." Do you remember that?