Quote from Amy in the episode Hitchcock & Scully
Amy: Well, that's unfair. Your squad is responsible for at least 50 of those butts.
Quote from the episode Christmas
Amy: Sir, I'm sure you had your reasons for going to Peralta, but this is exactly the type of job I would love to have.
Captain Holt: Okay, the next time someone threatens to kill me, I'll come straight to you.
Amy: Thank you, sir. I can't wait. I didn't mean- Let's catch this bastard.
Quote from the episode 99
Jake: You might wanna stand back for this, sir. It can get pretty intense.
Amy: [YELLING] All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-state ambulance rides. Scully will fake a medical emergency.
Scully: Don't need to fake it. Always having at least one.
Amy: Great. You call an ambulance and have it take us here to Monroe, Louisiana. The ambulance can drive 25 miles over the posted speed limit, so we'll get there by 9:00 p.m. There's a small airport there, mostly servicing crop dusters. Of course, they can't take passengers, but thanks to a loophole in H.R. 377551, police officers are allowed to commandeer any plane in the interest of national security. The crop duster will land at an airstrip outside of Finksburg, Maryland. We'll take a cab to Baltimore, jump on the 6:48 a.m. train to New York, arriving at 9:26. Kevin will meet us at Penn Station with a fresh Captain's uniform. From there, it's a 29-minute cab ride to One Police Plaza. You change on the way, and we should get to your meeting with five minutes to spare. Stop clapping, you idiots! We gotta move, move, move!
Jake: I love her.
Quote from the episode Lockdown
Jake: And our second option is surveillance footage of Detective Amy Santiago soliciting drugs using perfect grammar.
Amy: It's not that weird to say, "may I have some cocaine?"
Jake: It is.
Quote from Jake
Hitchcock: Look, guys, we never had that money. Here. We'll prove it to you.
Scully: Those are our financial records.
Hitchcock: I don't have any retirement. I don't have any security, or a car. I rent most of my clothes.
Jake: We get it. You're poor.
Hitchcock: I'm not just poor, son. I'm destitute.
Jake: Definitely not a wink-able line.
Quote from Hitchcock
Jake: Wait a minute. Why do you pay for a monthly parking spot?
Charles: Because it's New York. It's hard to park.
Jake: Yeah, but he just said he doesn't have a car. So what's parked in this spot you don't want us to know about? Could it be a super-expensive sports car, paid for in cash?
[cut to a parking garage:]
Jake: Nope. It's just a sketchy old sex van.
Hitchcock: There is nothing sketchy about the Beaver Trap.
Jake: Yes, there is.
Quote from Hitchcock
Charles: All right, calm down. We're not accusing you of anything, right, Jake?
Jake: Kinda was.
Hitchcock: This is crazy! We're innocent!
Scully: IA is railroading us like Holt said, and you're joining in the witch hunt!
Hitchcock: You're fake news! Sad!
Jake: Yeah, that's definitely the language of the innocent.