Chocolate Milk Season 2, Episode 2 - Aired October 5, 2014

Chocolate Milk

When Jake offers to drive Sergeant Jeffords to the hospital for his vasectomy, Terry tells Jake he thinks of him as "work friend" - not a friend friend. When a drugged up Terry admits he isn't sure he wants the vasectomy, Jake tries to prevent the operation.

Meanwhile, Captain Holt is in a precarious position when an enemy from his past returns in a position of power.

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Guest Stars: Kyra Sedgwick as Madeline Wuntch, Brent Morin as Gregory Philips, Moshe Kasher as Duncan Traub, Jerry Lambert as Dr. Martins, Carlos Antonio as Ernesto

Writers: Gabe Liedman

Director: Fred Goss

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Episode Notes

  • The title refers to the chocolate milk hipster cafe which was the scene of the crime that Jake and Sergeant Jeffords investigated.
  • This episode marks the first appearance of Kyra Sedgwick as Madeline Wuntch.

Episode Quotes

Captain Holt: Captain Wuntch. Good to see you. But if you're here, who's guarding Hades?

Doctor: We weren't able to do the procedure. Your friend is so large-
Jake: That you needed a bigger saw to cut through his dingus.

Jake: That's so bitter. What's wrong with this chocolate milk?
Store Owner: Dark milk isn't chocolate milk. This is teat-to-mouth raw cow's milk. The bitterness of the chocolate brings out the sourness in the milk.
Jake: That's the worst part of both of those things.

Sergeant Jeffords: I guess I didn't really think of you as that kind of friend.
Jake: Sarge, I'm every kind of friend. I'm Phoebe, I'm Chandler, I'm Rachel, I'm - who's the dinosaur guy?
Sergeant Jeffords: Ross, bro. Ross!
Jake: Sorry, I forgot you were such a Ross head.

Sergeant Jeffords: Jake! The doctors made me into a superhero. I'm so strong. Oh, and they made me black!


In the bull pen, after Sergeant Jeffords finishes a call to his doctor, Jake comes over to see if the Sarge is okay. Terry admits he's having a vasectomy, giving the rest of the squad a rare opportunity to poke fun at Terry.

Jake goes to Sergeant Jeffords' desk with a stabbing case at a hipster chocolate milk cafe. Terry agrees to work the case but needs to leave early for his vasectomy. When the Sarge says he needs a ride to the hospital, Terry admits he didn't ask Jake because he didn't think they were "friend friends". Meanwhile, Holt briefs Amy, Rosa, Boyle and Gina in his office, telling them the squad will soon be inspect by a deputy chief. Holt wants Amy to be at his side when the Deputy Chief arrives, while he tasks Rosa, Boyle and Gina with cleaning up the evidence room. Thankfully, Holt has a good rapport with Deputy Chief Brandt, who will be carrying out the inspection.

After talking to the owner of the chocolate milk cafe, Jake and Terry leave for his vasectomy appointment. Elsewhere, when Boyle arrives in the evidence room, Rosa is annoyed that Gina has been sorting files by "perp hotness". Boyle tells Rosa that he's going to his ex-wife's wedding and needs a date, an invitation Rosa declines.

As Amy and Holt wait by her desk, Madeline Wuntch arrives and tells Holt she'll be the one inspecting the precinct after Deputy Chief Brandt retired. The zingers fly fast between Holt and Wuntch, where there is clearly no love lost. Meanwhile, at the hospital, a drugged up Terry is wheeled out to Jake. The doctors couldn't perform the operation as they didn't have enough anaesthetic for a body as large as Terry's. Terry, under the influence of the medication, is unusually honest. Later, at Terry's house, Jake struggles to put the sarge to bed. In his drugged up state, Terry admits he wants more kids and doesn't want to have a vasectomy. Terry then falls asleep on the bed, taking Jake down with him and leaving him trapped.

The next day, Jake and Terry arrive at work. When Terry mentions he has a make-up vasectomy scheduled, Jake tells the Sarge, whose memory of the night before is foggy, that he admitted he doesn't want the operation. Terry says that's not true and it was just the effects of the medication. After Terry leaves, Jake vows to stop his friend making a mistake.

After Holt and Amy show their crime stats to Wuntch, Amy worries that Wuntch is going to fail the precinct. Holt tells Amy the story of how his relationship with Wuntch turned sour and how she attempted to sabotage his career after a spurned come-on. Elsewhere, Jake and Terry interview the chocolate milk cafe owner's business partner, who denies being near the store on the day of the stabbing. Meanwhile, Gina goes to the men's room to see Boyle, who asks her to be his date to the wedding. Despite their complicated relationship, Gina refuses to go with Boyle.

After interviewing people on the street, Jake and Terry interview a woman in her office. Unbeknown to Sergeant Jeffords, the woman is actually a couples counsellor. When Terry walks out, Jake confronts him on the street and tells him he won't let him make a mistake. Terry says they're just work friends, but Jake refuses to accept this and attempts to physically stop Terry from going to have a vasectomy.

Back in Captain Holt's office, Wuntch tells him she's thoroughly unimpressed by the precinct. Amy steps in to try broker peace between the former colleagues. Amy tells Holt that Wuntch didn't try to sabotage his relationship after he told her he was gay. Wuntch actually wrote him a positive recommendation later. Even so, Holt and Wuntch both feel they have a lot to be angry about.

Boyle, who is now wearing corn rows for his ex-wife's Jamaican-themed wedding, invites Rosa again, but she turns him down. Elsewhere, Jake stops by Gina's desk, disappointed that he couldn't convince Terry to admit his true feelings about getting a vasectomy. Gina's story about a sweater somehow convinces Jake he should be a "friend friend" for Terry and support him whatever decision he makes.

After Wuntch leaves Captain Holt's office, Amy confronts him about letting Wuntch fail the precinct. Amy says the precinct needs Captain Holt leading them, so he must do whatever it takes to placate Wuntch. Back at the hospital, Jake finds Terry in bed, drugged up again. Jake tells Terry he's there to give him a ride home and be a "friend friend" for him. As they try wheel Terry out to surgery, he shouts for Jake's help to stop the surgery.

When Boyle arrives at the precinct dressed in a Jamaican-themed suit, he finds Rosa is dressed up for the wedding. Rosa says she'll accompany him to the wedding and, the next day, help him find an apartment so he can move out of his ex-wife's basement. Elsewhere, at Terry's house, Jake puts Terry to bed. Terry admits he's conflicted about the vasectomy and thanks Jake for being a "friend friend". Terry falls asleep holding onto Jake, again trapping him.

Holt stops by Amy's desk to say they've received their precinct inspection grade. The precinct got a 2.7, mediocre rating, which is enough to keep Holt in place, after he reluctantly sucked up to Wuntch. Holt gives Amy an A grade for her help over the past few days. Meanwhile, Terry chats with Jake in the break room. Terry says he and his wife have decided to put the vasectomy on hold. As a thank you gift, Terry gives Jake a pack of carrots and force feeds them to his friend.