After a prank goes awry in the precinct, things at the Nine-Nine take a distinctly Agatha Christie turn as Captain Holt calls in the best detective he knows, Dillman.
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Guest Stars: J.K. Simmons as Dillman, Katie Dalmas as Alyssa, Delpaneaux Wills as Officer Howard
Writers: Paul Welsh, Madeline Walter
Director: Kyra Sedgwick
Jake: The point is a crime has been committed, and someone in this room did it. There are seven suspects all with means and motive. It appears what we have is a classic whodunnit.
Captain Holt: The phrase "whodunnit" is a grammatical abomination. Please use the proper term, a "who has done this."
Jake: I will not.
Jake: I don't understand, Charles. If Holt already assigned you to the task force, why were you helping me try and get it?
Charles: I was planning on telling Holt no.
Jake: What? That's insane. It's a huge opportunity.
Charles: I know, but I've been meaning to cut back on hours. I'm working too much. It's affecting Nikolaj at school. He's been making so many new friends.
Jake: Wait, isn't that a good thing?
Charles: No, he's trying to get me jealous. I did the same thing to my dad.
Dillman: If you really watch "Drake's Hollow" every day, you won't mind if I give you a little quiz. You see, I've been known to visit the Hollow myself from time to time not unlike Nicholas Van Bronderberg. Who's the father of Eliana's twins?
Rosa: Christian is Jacob's father, but Joshua was stolen from the hospital. His real father remains unknown.
Dillman: Who did Joshua grow up to marry?
Rosa: First came Sandra, then there was Brigitte, but she turned out to be his sister. Katherine died during childbirth, though it was later revealed that she was murdered by Amanda, Joshua's next wife. They divorced after Amanda was sentenced to the electric chair. But Joshua rebounded quickly with Jasmine. Jasmine was followed by Grace, the love of his life, but she had a contract dispute with the producers so she was killed off camera by a snake.
Dillman: [chuckles] You messed up. You forgot Gwendolyn.
Rosa: No, I didn't. Joshua and Gwendolyn were technically never married because that whole season took place inside Kiki's mind... [whispering] While she was in a coma.
Dillman: Diaz is innocent.
Dillman: So now I'd like to move on to a real suspect. I wanna see detective Diaz in the box.
Charles: [gasps]
Jake: What... don't gasp for him. What are you doing?
Charles: I'm sorry. It just slipped out.
Rosa: Title of your sex tape.
Jake: Yeah, it's... obviously it's the title of his sex tape. Everyone's taking my stuff.
Jake: Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here. Either it's Rosa who's disappointed in her Buzzfeed results...
[flashback to Rosa on a computer:]
Rosa: I am not a Blanche! [throws the mouse through a window]
Title | Date Posted |
709 'Dillman' Press Release | March 11 2020 |
NBC has released the synopsis for the March 26 episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, "Dillman". Full story |