Quotes from ‘Charges and Specs’

Charges and Specs

Charges and Specs
Season 1, Episode 22 - Aired March 25, 2014

When Jake continues to investigate a case after it was closed by Commissioner Podolski, he is fired from the NYPD. Meanwhile, Charles is distraught when Vivian breaks up with him right before their wedding.

Quote from Gina

Gina: The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I'm incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.

Quote from Gina

Gina: Breakups are a cartoony thumbs down. They make people feel face-with-Xs-for-the-eyes.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Fine, here's my gun and badge.
Captain Holt: I don't need those. You're not suspended yet. You're on administrative leave.
Jake: You never let me do anything cool.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Good point, Captain Holt. Or should I say Captain Raymond Sex-Vibes?

Quote from Gina

Gina: Forget your ex with meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.

Quote from Jake

Amy: I'm horrible at this. When can we stop?
Jake: I'm horrible at this-
Amy: I know, I know. Title of my sex tape.
Jake: Huh. Well done. Title of my sex tape.

Quote from Jake

Jake: You can't handle the me!

Quote from Jake

Jake: This whole place reeks of bacon! Well guest what? I'm going kosher! 'cause Jakey don't dig on swine.

Quote from Jake

Jake: I don't know what's gonna happen on this assignment, and if something bad goes down, I think I'd be pissed at myself if I didn't say this. I kinda wish something could happen, between us, romantic styles.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Look, let's just agree to say I'm Sorry on the count of three. One, two, three.
See? Now, I'm just disappointed in both of us.

Quote from Gina

Gina: And the very fact that you have him on trial is cat-doing- Home Alone-face.

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: Sorry about your hand.
Charles: Thanks. It makes it really hard to manipulate my egg sack.

Quote from Jake

Jake: How did you manage to step on both of my feet at the same time?

Quote from Gina

Gina: Our friendship is little-boy holding little-girl's hand.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Ah, Commissioner Podolski. It's been a while.
Commissioner Podolski: Maybe because you haven't put any of my children in handcuffs recently.
Jake: Yay. Enemies for life.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Okay, but just so you know, I think you're both wrong. Self dismissed.

Quote from Amy

Amy: How can you not trust Holt? He's the executor of my will.

Quote from Gina

Gina: This is easy. Boyle needs a little rebound nooki. Eggplant emoji. Rosa, you wanna get on that?

Quote from Jake

Jake: I am nationally recognized foxtrotter Dave Blathis and these are my protegés; Rhonda Shawarma and Hank Franklin.

Quote from Jake

Jake: We need to blend in. Stretch your leg above your head.
Amy: What? You stretch your leg up over your head.
Jake: You don't think I wouldn't if I could?

Quote from Charles

Charles: I'm settling into the darkness nicely. (To Rosa) I definitely get you now.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Vivian is my fiance. My ex-fiance. My never-wife.

Quote from Gina

Gina: I know we're all concerned about Boyle, but again, there is a solution. Forget your ex with meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Wedding's off and this is what I'm like now. Life is a pit.
Gina: Excuse me. I don't understand. Did you already have a Matrix get-up at home for some reason?
Charles: No, Gina. I bought this with the money I was going to spend on our honeymoon to Cape Canaveral.

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