Jake: Okay, I'm staying out of this one.
Captain Holt: Shocking... I didn't realize you were capable of staying out of anything.
Scully: We have an announcement. We're here to crown the winner of this year's Great Tournament of Chips. Rosa?
Rosa: The Chipeon is... Smoky Bacon Chicken.
Amy: She's so high.
Jake: Yeah. Sounds pretty good, though.
Rosa: Ugh, you guys are duds. Scully and I are gonna bounce.

Rosa: I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
Charles: This is your speech?
Rosa: 'Cause I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Gina: Very violent eulogy, I like it.

Rosa: Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.
Amy: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Rosa: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, is that a smile I see?
Rosa: Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.

Jake: Guys, come on, I've got a great plan here. No one wants in?
Sergeant Jeffords: Absolutely not!
[later:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Tell me the plan. I want in.
Jake: What? You do?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah. Terry loves love.
Jake: Then why didn't you back me up in there?
Sergeant Jeffords: Because Terry also loves hedging.
Jake: Terry loves hedging? That's new.
Sergeant Jeffords: No, it's classic Terry. Look, I always play both sides till the last possible minute, everyone knows that.
Jake: That's not fair. Everyone's so hard on me. I want a public show of support for my plan.
Sergeant Jeffords: Can't do it. Look, I don't know what's so tough for you to understand here. I love the scheme, I wanna be a part of it, but I think it's gonna fail, and I don't want people to think I was a part of it.
Jake: Fine, I'll take what I can get.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes!

Captain Holt: He's tired from driving, so he's staying the night and going back in the morning.
Jake: Well, that could be good. Maybe you guys can spend some time together.
Captain Holt: We've agreed to keep our distance and issue a verbal warning anytime one of us is about to enter the room. [shouts] Raymond Holt entering the kitchen! [exits]
Amy: Jake, this is bad.
Captain Holt: [o.s.] Raymond Holt entering the second sitting room.

Jake: What did Kevin say? Is everything okay?
Captain Holt: No. We just had a knock-down, drag-out fight.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: My calendar had the Lake House as free.
Kevin: Strange. Mine had it as unoccupied.
Captain Holt: Well, it seems we're at an impasse.
Kevin: I would call it more of a deadlock.
[present:]
Captain Holt: He gets in such good zingers.