Jake: Look, O'Sullivan said he could make my suspension go away if just "played ball." He's clearly trying to get me to lean on you to kill your program.
Captain Holt: This doesn't sound like a setup. O'Sullivan didn't make you arrest an innocent man.
Jake: Or did he? Think about it. Marzipan, who I never liked, by the way, was the one who gave me the address to the bus lot. I think he and O'Sullivan made sure there was a "suspect" there for me to arrest.
Captain Holt: You think the victim was a plant?
Jake: Well, I didn't believe it either until I checked the guy's file. Guess what he does for a living? Actor. Huh? Come on, sir, you hate actors!
Captain Holt: I don't hate actors. I hate colleges that award diplomas for acting.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Charles: Really never seen Speed, sir? Keanu Reeves, Sandy Bullock, Jeff Daniels at the height of his sexual powers?

Charles: Uh-oh, I know that strut. Little hip swing, playful butt bounce... Somebody made a collar!
Jake: Not loving you talking about my butt bounce, but, also, hell, yeah, someone collared a big dog!
Charles: Woof, woof!

Rosa: So you lost a Speed That sucks. At least you didn't have a Sister Act taken from you.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: Bracco confessed. The undercover operation is over.
Rosa: But I just got a spot in the choir.
[present:]
Jake: Wait, is that the real reason you left the force?
Rosa: It didn't help.