Quote from the episode Suicide Squad
Jake: Hitchcock, can you top it?
Hitchcock: Mine has mother's hospital bed.
Amy: Okay, Scully?
Scully: I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes. But it's probably just the wind.
Jake: Okay, that's actually too scary.
Quote from the episode Sabotage
Hitchcock: All that investigating was exhausting. Besides, we did our share of that in the seventies and eighties. Now, we like to do paperwork in our comfy chairs.
Scully: If we're away from our desks for too long, they'll update our computers and we'll lose Minesweeper.
Quote from the episode Lockdown
Amy: Oh, so your plan is to not take this seriously at all?
Jake: Oh, I am as serious as a heart attack. No offense, Scully.
Scully: Nah. Mine are never that serious. I call 'em "oopsies".
Quote from Scully
Hitchcock: All that investigating was exhausting. Besides, we did our share of that in the seventies and eighties. Now, we like to do paperwork in our comfy chairs.
Scully: If we're away from our desks for too long, they'll update our computers and we'll lose Minesweeper.
Quote from Scully
Scully: You called us useless. You called us incompetent. You called us zeroes in the sack.
Charles: Never happened.
Scully: Well, someone said it to me last night. Oh, must have been my wife.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Rules are made to be broken.
Amy: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Jake: Uh, piñatas.
Rosa: Glow sticks.
Jake: Karate boards.
Rosa: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Jake: Rules.