Captain Holt: I know you're all tired, but don't forget why we're here.
Jake: Because we're dedicated detectives.
Captain Holt: Because Peralta jumped the gun.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Jake: You slept in your office and you look exactly the same. How?
Captain Holt: What are you talking about? My hair is a mess.

Charles: You just graduated pie school, bitches.
Sorry I said bitches, I'm just really worked up.

Sergeant Jeffords: He makes me feel so small!
Captain Holt: Well, who cares what he thinks? You're a police sergeant! You're a grown man!
Now take your nap. And if I see the lights on in here, I'm going to be very disappointed in you.