Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Into the Woods
Captain Holt: A minute, Detective Diaz. What's going on with you and Marcus?
Rosa: What are you talking about?
Captain Holt: Your shoulders tightened when he said "baby.
"
Your nostrils flared when I asked what was going on with the two of you.
And you have saag paneer on your sleeve, which, given your aversion to Indian cuisine, suggests you let him choose the restaurant.
Why would you do that?
Rosa: Kindness.
Captain Holt: Pity. You're about to break up with him.
Rosa: Damn, you are good.
Quote from the episode Ding Dong
Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.
Quote from Charles
Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.
Quote from Sergeant Jeffords
Sergeant Jeffords: Look, man, I've got two kids, a job, and a very pregnant wife. I get one hour a week to myself on Sundays.
You know what I do with that time? I run a hot bubble bath, wheel in a TV, and watch sports bloopers.
Charles: Sports bloopers?
Sergeant Jeffords: They're hilarious and relaxing, and they humanize my heroes.
Quote from Charles
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait a second, Peralta. You busted through a window for no reason?
Jake: Basic police tactic, Sarge.
Cover every exit.
Sergeant Jeffords: It was a sealed window on the fifth floor.
You could have just gone in the door with Charles.
Jake: Yeah, but then what would my catchphrase have been?
"Knock, knock, who's there? Justice"?
Ooh, that's actually amazing. Charles, write that down.
Charles: Already did.