Amy: Okay, let's talk planets. Jupiter is a gas giant.
Gina: So's Hitchcock. How does this help me?

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Gina: Have you seen Captain Holt? Tall, handsome gentleman dressed like an airline pilot.

Jake: My fellow detectives, ours is not an easy job. The hours are long, the danger is constant, the pay is LOL. But today, a glimmer of hope. For today, a new vending machine. Behold him in all of his glory, so full of strength, and promise, and, most importantly, sodium, gluten and fat.

Gina: You just made Earth lame, and that is my house.

Rosa: Oh my God, I just figured out where the diamonds are. We thought the shipping container came in on October 11, 10/11. These dumb Europeans write their dates backwards. We should have been going for the one from 10 November.
Jake: Of course. Stupid rest of the world writing their dates all dumb.