Gina: Sup, Sarge? Just digging through the garbage like a normal person?

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Gina: Have you seen Captain Holt? Tall, handsome gentleman dressed like an airline pilot.

Jake: Whoo-hoo-hoo! We did it! What? I'm only human. You can't always expect me to be the coolest guy ever.
Bob Annderson: Coolest guy ever? Try telling that to Alan Greenspan.
Captain Holt: Nice burn, Bob!

Jake: We will be represented by these things I had in my pocket. All I had was lint. Just a pocketful of lint. Everybody remember what your lint looks like.
Bob Annderson: My lint is round. My lint is approximately 1 centimeter in diameter. My lint is blue.
Captain Holt: My lint is oblong. My lint is approximately 1/2 centimeter in length. My lint is also blue.
Jake: Wow, so no pushback on the lint thing? This is great.

Bob Annderson: This whole area is video-monitored by this guard here.
Captain Holt: I can distract him with conversation. What do you know about him?
Bob Annderson: Watches a lot of TV. I heard him mention "Sex and the City."
Captain Holt: Then I will discuss both of those shows with him.
Jake: Ooh. "Sex and the City" is one show. It's not a show called "Sex" and then another show called "The City."
Captain Holt: Okay. Good start. Now I know that.