Captain Holt: Yes, yes, come to papa. Raise it a grand! Call. Raise. A pair of candy canes. I'm all in, baby.
Jake: What are you doing, sir?
Captain Holt: Working the case. Sharpening my poker skills for Valdano.
Jake: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and why are you watching this children's beauty pageant?
Captain Holt: For fun, obviously. No, Jayla, don't drop the baton. No, I had so much riding on you!

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Scully: I miss my home chair.
Rosa: You miss a chair?

Jake: It was the "shouldn't've" that finally tipped me off. I've never heard you use a double contraction before.
Captain Holt: And you never will again.

Jake: Damn, Cap. Are you secretly cool?
Captain Holt: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician Carl Friedrich Gauss cool.
Jake: I do not.