Amy: Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Just so you know, at the end of the sixth book, Snape kills-
Jake: La-la-la-la-! No spoilies! Terry, let's go.

Amy: Sir, I'm sure you had your reasons for going to Peralta, but this is exactly the type of job I would love to have.
Captain Holt: Okay, the next time someone threatens to kill me, I'll come straight to you.
Amy: Thank you, sir. I can't wait. I didn't mean- Let's catch this bastard.

Captain Holt: This facility is a violent place filled with hardened criminals We need to send someone who can blend in.
Amy: Sir, I would be honored to take on this challenging assignment. [laughter] Why is everyone laughing? I can be a badass.
Gina: You're raising your hand right now.
Amy: We're in a meeting!

Jake: You might wanna stand back for this, sir. It can get pretty intense.
Amy: [YELLING] All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-state ambulance rides. Scully will fake a medical emergency.
Scully: Don't need to fake it. Always having at least one.
Amy: Great. You call an ambulance and have it take us here to Monroe, Louisiana. The ambulance can drive 25 miles over the posted speed limit, so we'll get there by 9:00 p.m. There's a small airport there, mostly servicing crop dusters. Of course, they can't take passengers, but thanks to a loophole in H.R. 377551, police officers are allowed to commandeer any plane in the interest of national security. The crop duster will land at an airstrip outside of Finksburg, Maryland. We'll take a cab to Baltimore, jump on the 6:48 a.m. train to New York, arriving at 9:26. Kevin will meet us at Penn Station with a fresh Captain's uniform. From there, it's a 29-minute cab ride to One Police Plaza. You change on the way, and we should get to your meeting with five minutes to spare. Stop clapping, you idiots! We gotta move, move, move!
Jake: I love her.

Amy: Hey. I don't get it. Why did you decide to let me win?
Jake: I don't know. When we were back there racing through the Miranda Rights, I just looked over at you and thought, "You're awesome. And you're good at doing things." I mean, sure, I'll miss towel, but your happiness is worth way more than winning some stupid bet.
Amy: Are you sure about this?
Jake: Oh, yeah. Your apartment is better than mine in every way imaginable. You want to know what my first thought was when we dropped into the sewer? "Smells like home."
Sergeant Jeffords: He's lying, Amy. His first thought was about the Ninja Turtles.
Amy: Come on, Terry. We were in a sewer. He's gon'sta think about the Turtles.
Jake: Yeah, I'm gon'sta, Terry. Quit being such a Malfoy.
Amy: Yeah, Terry.

Amy: Anyway, gentlemen, we are off to catch some more convicts. Two more, and we win.
Charles: Huh, just two? (SCOFFS) No sweat. Literally.
Jake: Get out of here. Take those glass cutters with you.
Charles: Oh, these lil' ol' things? [Charles licks his finger and lightly touches his rear-end while making a sizzling sound] Tsst.
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Jake: Why'd you put your finger in the middle?

Marshawn Lynch: I ain't seen anything. I was eating my quesadilla. It was a good one. Chicken, cheese, guac. But they forgot my pico de gallo.
[5 minutes later:] I remember when I was a little boy, my mama used to make this, uh, she used to call it "fo' cheese." What y'all call it? Y'all call it "four"?
[12 minutes later] How come they never make quesadillas with sausage? You throw some tomato sauce in there and call it a pizza-dilla - What you think?
Rosa: What is going on?
[21 minutes later:]
Marshawn Lynch: This one time, I tried to wait up all night to catch Santa Claus, right? You know how they tell you you got to put the cookies and the milk out?
[36 minutes later:] I don't really be telling nobody this, but I like to sleep with the fan on, even when it's chilly outside. All about that white noise, baby.
Rosa: Stop. Stop talking, Marshawn Lynch. Did you see anything after the van crashed? Yes or no?
Marshawn Lynch: Nope. Like I told you, I was just eating my quesadilla. Have I talked to y'all about my pizza-dilla invention?