Sergeant Jeffords: We're getting close. We just need to keep testing more things.
Captain Holt: Oh, that's a good idea. Have you tried a piece of paper? Is that your crinkle? Ooh, maybe oh. Maybe it's these bags of coffee beans.
Sergeant Jeffords: All right, sir. I think you've made your point.
Captain Holt: My point? Oh, I'm just trying to have fun by wasting time. Oh, maybe it's this crinkly-crunkly yogurt.
Sergeant Jeffords: Terry heard a crinkle.
Captain Holt: Holt heard a crinkle, too.
Sergeant Jeffords: So suddenly, it's not a waste of time?
Captain Holt: Not a waste of time if we win! What are you waiting for, Jeffords? Call the Horndog!

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Rosa: Hey. So you know how Alicia and I broke up because she moved to London, then we tried to make it work, but the distance was too much and we broke up again?
Charles: No. The last thing you told me about yourself was that you were bi.

Amy: Okay, I've got something.
Jake: Oh. That's not Brandon's profile. It's mine.
Amy: I just want a quick peek at your attendance record. Zero absences. Oh, mama Printing this for later.
Jake: Keep it in your pants, Santiago.
Amy: Oh, that's exactly where it's going.

Captain Holt: Why is everyone gathered around the radio? Ooh, are they testing the emergency broadcasting system?