Charles: Hey, G-Spot!
Gina: Rosa, Charles. Ugh, I missed you guys so much.
Rosa: Really? Because when you left, you made a pretty big deal about deleting us from your phone.
Gina: Girl, that was just the showman in me.
PR is so boring. I need some Nine-Nine drama, stat.
Rosa: I don't think we're that dramatic.
Gina: I've been gone one week. Jake and Amy are dating and they've killed a person.

Gina: It's Gina's phone. Leave me a voice-mail. I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993.

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Sergeant Jeffords: Move over, Peralta! Move over! Okay. And if I may do a third toast, it'll be focused primarily on the mango yogurt.
*Audience groans*
Don't boo me! I lost something important too, shoot!

Amy: Listen, guys. Jake and I were talking last night-
Charles: Pillow talk alert. Set the scene, spooning or face to face?
Jake: Charles.
Charles: Spooning.

Gina: Whatcha doing there, Boyle?
Charles: Trying to get drunk enough to have sexual intercourse with a vegan. Why can't I just think with my junk like a modern man?