Officer Debbie Fogle: Mmm, what do I want in my sandwich? Let's see. Definitely ham, cheese, baking soda for sure, French vanilla creamer, ooh, orange chicken. [runs] Ah!
Sergeant Jeffords: Debbie!
[Scully holds his arm out and knocks Debbie to the ground]
Officer Debbie Fogle: Ooh!
Scully: You really thought you'd get away with it?
Sergeant Jeffords: Damn, Scully!
Scully: I was planning on eating that orange chicken later!
Sergeant Jeffords: Is that why you took her down? Do you even know about the missing cocaine?
Scully: Cocaine?

Jake: Hitchcock, can you top it?
Hitchcock: Mine has mother's hospital bed.
Amy: Okay, Scully?
Scully: I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes. But it's probably just the wind.
Jake: Okay, that's actually too scary.

Amy: Oh, so your plan is to not take this seriously at all?
Jake: Oh, I am as serious as a heart attack. No offense, Scully.
Scully: Nah. Mine are never that serious. I call 'em "oopsies".

Hitchcock: All that investigating was exhausting. Besides, we did our share of that in the seventies and eighties. Now, we like to do paperwork in our comfy chairs.
Scully: If we're away from our desks for too long, they'll update our computers and we'll lose Minesweeper.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is gonna take forever.
Captain Holt: I actually took a speed reading course. I tested at 800 WPM.
Amy: That's pathetic. I tested at 802.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's pretty close to Holt's score.
Captain Holt: No, no, 802's incredible. She pwned me. I read the entire Urban Dictionary So I could converse with the other uniformed officers. Finished it in 47 minutes.

Captain Holt: But we have to let the investigation run its course. Right now, everyone's a suspect.
Rosa: Except for Hitchcock and Scully. Whoever did it took the stairs.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we don't know where Debbie has hidden the drugs. We searched her car, her apartment we even tried the location data on her phone, but she was smart, she had it turned off.
Amy: Or her battery died. According to her Screen Time app, she plays five hours a day of a game called "Cool Girl in School."
Charles: I love "CGIS." I just made captain of the color guard. Junior year's looking up.