Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 10882

Quote from Doug Judy in the episode The Takeback

Jake: Look, I can be cool. As long as nobody commits any major crimes in front of me.
Doug Judy: It's not a problem. We don't have to break the law to have fun. We gonna have some drinks, smoke some Cubans, eat a steak, either crazy big or crazy small, whichever's more expensive.

 Doug Judy Quotes

Quote from the episode The Fugitive (Part 2)

Captain Holt: No, no, no. He's not a cop. He can't be wearing any of this.
Jake: It's just a windbreaker. It's not like I gave him a badge and a gun. ... Uh, he has both of those things.
Doug Judy: It's not loaded. I just want to cock it and say a cool cop catch phrase. (COCKS GUN) New York's finest just got a whole lot finer.

Quote from the episode The Fugitive (Part 2)

Doug Judy: Damn, it feels good to be on the same team for once. A cop and a criminal working together. (GASPS) We need a theme song. The Pontiac Bandit and Jake the cop-
Jake: Oh!
Doug Judy: Taking down crooks, In the streets where they live, Flirting with girls who are hot for the badge-
Jake: There's a talking police dog that helps them solve crime.

Quote from the episode The Pontiac Bandit Returns

Captain Holt: Give me some details.
Doug Judy: Ruiz and I were cellies in Attica in the '90s. He texted me last week. Needs some cars to deliver his product. I said no because drugs are stupid. Except for weed and sex pills. A man has needs. [singing] Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. I can't think of your last name, baby.
Captain Holt: Enough crooning!

 ‘The Takeback’ Quotes

Quote from Doug Judy

Jake: So, what's going on? Anything exciting in your life that you maybe want to tell me about?
Doug Judy: I got a new job. I sit behind white CEOs when they have to testify before Congress, so they don't look so racist. Every 15 minutes I just whisper some nonsense at 'em.
[flashback:]
Doug Judy: The texture of quiche is unsettling.
[present:]
Doug Judy: I got paid $75,000 for that nonsense.

Quote from Trudy Judy

Jake: What the hell was that? You almost blew my cover.
Doug Judy: Yeah, they're all suspicious now. You have to help us convince them that Jake's not a cop.
Trudy Judy: Why? I don't understand why you invited him. This was supposed to be a crazy weekend of boobs and butts.
Doug Judy: Trudy Judy, you're not gonna see boobs or butts this weekend.
Trudy Judy: I'll see butts if I wanna see butts.

Quote from Doug Judy

Jake: All right, look, Judy, I know you're getting married.
Doug Judy: Damn it, I didn't think you'd find out about that. Who told you, Ronnie? Bobby? Ricky? Mike?
Jake: Don't try and change the subject by tricking me into singing New Edition with you.
Doug Judy: I don't know what you're talking about. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike...
Both: [singing] If I like the girl who cares who you like
Doug Judy: Whoo!

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