Charles: Okay, I know you need help and time is tight, but I see there is blue cake on the floor, and I know what that means, vis-à-vis the sex of the baby. So before we do anything, I'm going to need a minute.
[1 minute later:]
Charles: Sorry for all the weeping and the weird snort noise I made at the end. It's genetic. Now, Jake, grab the mop, you're on cleanup. Admiral, you're making the batter. Captain, you're on frosting duty.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle! Were you dreaming about Jake again?
Charles: Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Hitchcock: Please, don't go looking for that witness.
Amy: We're just trying to fix your screw-up.
Scully: We didn't screw up. The witness gave us his name, but he asked us not to write it down because he's undocumented.
Rosa: So he's scared to show up to testify at the courthouse because he didn't want to be detained by ICE.
Amy: Damn it.
Hitchcock: You know, that keeps lots of immigrants from helping cops.
Rosa: Yeah, we know that. We're just surprised that you know that.
Scully: That's insulting. I'm very concerned with immigration issues.
Hitchcock: And I've dated my fair share of spicy...
Rosa: No!
Amy: Scully said the nice thing. You don't need to go past it, Hitchcock.

Captain Holt: Okay. Give me your flute. Wrong! First rule: never give anyone your flute.

Sergeant Jeffords: Sorry, we're so happy for you, but we also maybe, kind of already knew. I mean, you didn't do the best job of hiding it.
[flashback:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Why have you been carrying that box around so much?
Amy: I just love this box.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: Why are you reading that newspaper? It's two days old.
Amy: I just love this issue.
[flashback:]
Rosa: Hey, why are you wearing that Hazmat suit?
Amy: I just love this look.