Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 11639

Quote from Jake in the episode The Last Day (Part 1)

Amy: Oh, Jake, what do we do now?
Jake: Obviously, our plans have changed a little, but the perfect goodbye is still in our sights. Our objective is the same. Get that tube from Gina before Holt does.
Amy: How do we break into an armored truck?
Rosa: [enters] What are you two doing?
Amy: Oh, sorry, Mac's done with daycare so we had the babysitter bring him by so we could say hi. 'Cause we're gonna be home late tonight, so...
Jake: Yeah, just trying to strike that heist-life balance. Isn't that right, little Mac-a-docious? Isn't that right, Mac-a-roonie?
Amy: Yeah.
Rosa: Ugh. Well, when you're done, come find me. We gotta talk strategy. [exits]
Amy: Got it.
Jake: I can't believe she fell for it.
Tiffany: So, I don't understand, you guys are paying me to babysit a fake baby?
Jake: Yeah, we're just hoping people think it's real.
Tiffany: Oh, cool. You think it's working?
Jake: I do not.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from the episode Halloween

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

 ‘The Last Day (Part 1)’ Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Wuntch's grave.
Rosa: Wow. Did Terry put up a balloon arch just for the heist?
Captain Holt: No, that was me. I come every week to install a fresh one. But enough chit-chat. Let's dig her up.
Amy: I don't think we wanna do that.
Captain Holt: Why, are you scared of what she'd look like? She's just a corpse with worms for eyes, no different than when she was alive.

Quote from Jake

Jake: So the heist is actually going to be the perfect goodbye.
Amy: What does that mean?
Jake: Drama, glamor, shocking twists and turns. And the whole heist ends up with everyone at the Brooklyn Bridge.
Amy: Is that meaningful? Have we ever been there together as a squad?
Jake: Uh, yeah.
[theme music plays over clip from opening credits]
Jake: I'm not sure why we all looked so intense, we were just getting falafel.
Amy: I mean, that falafel stand is really good.
Jake: True that, yeah.

Quote from Jake

Sergeant Jeffords: [on alarm app] Terry loves waking up. Terry loves waking up. Terry...
Sergeant Jeffords: Good morning, honey, time to... [screams] What the hell are you doing?
Jake: It's Holt and Amy's last day, so we're having a final heist! It's heist day!
Sergeant Jeffords: Couldn't you have just sent an email?
Jake: Nope, this was the only way. I have to go alert the others. See you soon!
[later, as Rosa opens her refrigerator:]
Jake: It's heist day, Rosa! [Rosa screams] Whoops, sorry about your milk. Gotta go!
[later, as Charles goes to wake Nikolaj up:]
Charles: Niko, it's time for school.
Jake: It's heist day, Charles!
Charles: Where's Nikolaj?
Jake: He's crying in the closet! Gotta go!
[later, as Amy walks into their bathroom:]
Amy: Babe, what are you doing?
Jake: I was hiding so I could surprise you. But if you're here, then who's in our shower?
Captain Holt: It's me, Captain Holt. It's heist day, Jake.
All: Oh!

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