Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 4248

Quote from Jake in the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode The Apartment

Captain Holt: Do you see me as a father figure, Peralta?
Jake: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure, because you're always bothering me.
Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, show your father some respect.
Jake: I didn't call him dad.
Captain Holt: No, no. Jacob, I take it as a compliment.
Charles: It's not a big deal. I called Vivian mom once and she's my fiancée.
Jake: Guys, jump on that. Boyle has psycho-sexual issues.
Amy: Old news. But you calling Holt daddy.
Jake: Hey, daddy is not on the table here.
Suspect: Well, you did call him dad, dude.
Jake: You shut up. You've done nothing but lie since you got here.
Suspect: Okay, I was lying about the hold-up, but the daddy thing that happened.
Jake: Ah-ha. He admitted the alibi was a lie. All part of my crazy, devious plan.
Captain Holt: I believed you-
Jake: Thank you.
Captain Holt: -son. You want to talk about it later over a game of catch?
Jake: I'd like that.

'The Vulture' Quotes

Quote from Charles

Charles: You talking oldest bags? Sixty-eight.
Amy: That's not that old.
Charles: No, but I was only twenty.
Jake: Were you even a cop then?
Charles: No, man. It was before I got into the academy.
Rosa: Charles isn't talking about his oldest arrest.
Everybody: Ew!

Quote from Gina

Gina: Gina's authentic stolen police badges. How can I help?
Jake: Hey, it's Peralta.
Gina: Oh, hey, Jake.
Jake: Hey, do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?
Gina: Of course. I'm not an animal.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Captain Holt: Still waiting, sergeant.
Sergeant Jeffords: It's just, the target looks exactly like a friend of mine. It's freaking me out.
Captain Holt: You have a friend, who's just a silhouette?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes!

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