Jake: So I will focus mainly on skiing and Atlantic City when I talk to him tonight at the Fundraiser for the Association of Brooklyn Public Defenders, aka the Chamber of Asses. No wait, that's too sexy. The Chamber of Snakes.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Gina: So you choose your dad over me, your co-worker who hates you?

Madeline Wuntch: I'm the front-runner for a job in the Boston PD.
Captain Holt: Boston? But it's so close to Salem. You do know what they do to witches up there, don't you?

Gina: The only reason I didn't tell you is I don't value you as people, so why be honest?