Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 4926

Quote from Kevin in the episode The Party

Jake: I don't think you dislike cop talk. I think you dislike cops.
Kevin: [scoff] I'm married to one.
Jake: I know. And I can't imagine it's been fun watching the man you love marginalized, under appreciated, and disrespected by the NYPD.
Kevin: Because he's gay, Raymond has been put through hell by his colleagues. Many of whom, quite frankly, look exactly like you.
Jake: Devastatingly handsome? I'm sorry. I'm uncomfortable with emotions.
Kevin: So, yes, I decided a long time ago, that just because I love Raymond, doesn't mean I have to love the people he works with. Good solve, detective.
Jake: Nice cop lingo.

Kevin Quotes

Quote from the episode Safe House

Captain Holt: I brought you your box of DVDs.
Jake: Oh, thank you. Oh! Forgot about this one. We never watched "Captain Corelli's Mandolin".
Kevin: What the hell did you just say?
Jake: "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"?
Kevin: Say that to my face.
Jake: "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"?
Kevin: There was a movie about a mandolin, and you kept it from me for two months?
Jake: Well I didn't think it was any good. It's just some period piece.
Kevin: What?
Jake: Set in Greece.
Kevin: Oh, my God.
Jake: Based on some dumb book. *Kevin knocks the DVD out of Jake's hands* Aah!
Kevin: Terribly sorry. It has been a very trying time.

Quote from the episode Safe House

Jake: But going out into public is a huge risk, so maybe let's go over some self-defense techniques. *Kevin punches Jake in the throat* [gasps] [chokes] Usually, you warn somebody before you do that.
Kevin: Raymond told me that the element of surprise was crucial.
Jake: Cool. [coughs] So he's a great teacher. But I will say this. If you're going to do a throat punch, it is key that you say something cool afterwards like, "choke on that".
Kevin: Right, but they're not choking. They're experiencing airway trauma. Ooh, how about, "Better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture".
Jake: Okay, yeah, that's very informative and quite polite. [ahem] But maybe add a "dirtbag" on the end?
Kevin: But a dirtbag is a useful part of a vacuum. I don't see how it's an insult.
Jake: All right, you know, puncher's choice.

Quote from the episode The Party

Captain Holt: You've been needling poor Peralta so much, you've practically made him a new suit.
Kevin: "Needled him a new suit." Even when we're fighting, you're hilarious. Stop it. Stop it.

'The Party' Quotes

Quote from Gina

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Quote from Jake

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from Gina

Rosa: Gina, what are you thinking about right now?
Gina: I was thinking how I would make the perfect American president, based upon my skill set, dance ability and bloodlust.

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