Jake: So, apparently the new Captain survived. And his heart attack, not the craziest thing that happened at the precinct today. We kissed. Like three hours ago.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Madeline Wuntch: Sticks and stones, Raymond.
Captain Holt: Describing your breakfast?

Madeline Wuntch: Trent, Brice, where are we with the name?
Trent: We've narrowed it down to two choices. Petey or Paulie.
Gina: With all due respect, that Pigeon is clearly a Ray-Jay. Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 Emoji.

Gina: This man is a Timberlake and you need to stop treating him like a Fatone.