Quote from Jake in the episode The Mattress
Amy: I think it's cute. You're like an idealistic grad student.
Jake: Ah, you like that? You want me to tell you about the time that I backpacked through the Netherlands?
Amy: Ooh, did you fold all your stuff up really small to fit into one carry-on?
Jake: Is that what you want me to have done?
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Quote from Gina
Gina: What did you do to my cupcake?
Captain Holt: This is yours? Why on Earth is your cupcake on my chair?
Gina: Because it's very special to me, so I can put it wherever I want. This is your fault. Now you have to buy me a new cupcake.
Captain Holt: This is outrageous. You expect me to avoid- Oh, I see.
Gina: Mm-hmm. Yeah, you do. The cupcake was Gertie.
Captain Holt: Yes.
Gina: Your butt was Charles's car.
Captain Holt: Yes.
Gina: The chair was the parking space.
Captain Holt: Yes, I get it.
Gina: Your office was the garage.
Captain Holt: Yes, I'm telling you I understand the lesson.
Gina: And I was the brilliant Gina Linetti in both scenarios.
Quote from Gina
Captain Holt: You don't owe me anything. It was my fault, and I behaved poorly, as Gina made abundantly clear.
Gina: Oh, speaking of, you still owe me $14 for that cupcake.
Quote from Jake
Amy: He said he'll point him out to us. So you approach on foot from the south, and me and Devon will be in an unmarked car here.
Jake: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. "Me and Devon"? Didn't you mean "Devon and I"?
Amy: Oh, God.
Jake: I corrected your grammar! Are you so proud of me? Are you horrified? Are you super horny?