Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Cruise
Captain Holt: Debbie, it's just too much.
Debbie: What happened?
Captain Holt: Wait till you hear. Kevin is all, "Hey, man, I'm leaving for Paris," And I said, "Then go already. I don't care," but I do care, and now I'm like, "Where's Kevin?"
Debbie: Well, I didn't know y'all had all of that going on.
Captain Holt: Ugh, no one understands me. And now you're here, and I love you, but, like, it's a lot. Everything in my life is a hot mess right now.
Debbie: Damn.
Quote from the episode Ding Dong
Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.
Quote from Captain Holt
Debbie: Look at you. Always working. What happened to my fun big brother?
Captain Holt: Fun? I was never fun. You take that back.
Quote from Jake
Jake: Hey, can I ask you something?
Amy: Mm-hmm.
Jake: If the toilets drain into the ocean, does that mean a tiny shark could swim up and bite me in the butt?
Amy: No, not at all.
Jake: Psh, lame.
Quote from Doug Judy
Amy: I got five down. I figured out the theme. It's boats.
Doug Judy: Okay, I get it. She's smart and lovable; you're scrappy and lovable; together you're just lovable and lovable.