Captain Holt: Congratulations.We did it. And we did it together because we're a team.
Hitchcock: Should we do it again next week, sir?
Captain Holt: No. I would hate that.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Attorney: How do we know those were drugs? Please back that tape up.
Charles: No! Objection!
Judge: On what grounds?
Charles: That's my penis?
Judge: Overruled.

Captain Holt: This just might work out after all.
Gina: You're damn right it will, 'cause we're a ragtag, scrappity, fart-dumb, moron parade, smart-ass team!

Amy: Jake, Karen is a grown woman with a pretty respectable credit score. I'm sure she knows what she's doing.
Jake: Amy, I know that you have a binder, but you don't know her like I do. She's too trusting for her own good. She's fallen for more Nigerian scams than Scully.
Amy: She's fallen for 20 Nigerian scams?
Jake: 20? That's insane. No, she's fallen for 2. Scully's fallen for 20?
Amy: Yeah.