Charles: What about me? What if something happens to Jake, and he never gets to meet my baby? I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met Jake.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle! Were you dreaming about Jake again?
Charles: Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Rosa: We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live.
Sergeant Jeffords: I thought you had Amy over there once.
Rosa: Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day.

Jake: H is for Holt. He's leading us right to him. Now all we have to do is follow the trail of chocolate.
Scully: This, this is why I became a cop.

Captain Holt: Why'd you do it, Bob? Why'd you betray everything you ever stood for?
Bob Annderson: I spent 14 years bringing down a Mexican cartel. You know what they gave me for it? A letter of commendation with my last name misspelled.
Captain Holt: In all fairness, Bob, who spells "Anderson" with three Ns?