Jake: But secondly, in "The Godfather," Don Corleone had three sons: Michael, his favorite-
Charles: Diane Keaton's husband.
Jake: Mm-kay. Then there was Sonny, the hothead.
Charles: Diane Keaton's brother-in-law.
Jake: Charles, you're being distracting.
Captain Holt: No, he's not, he's actually helping me to follow this. Continue going through Diane Keaton's relatives.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Captain Holt: I wish he would turn the radio down.
Jake: You think that's the radio? That sounds like professional music to you?
Captain Holt: All music after Mahler sounds exactly like that.

Seamus Murphy: You ever want to do business again, my door is always open.
Captain Holt: Well, you should close it, lest you get moths. Good day.

Captain Holt: He only wants to use the block party as a cover for something criminal: a robbery, a murder, or something worse.
Jake: You don't know that for sure, and that's your loophole.
Captain Holt: I don't believe in loopholes.
Jake: What? Loopholes are the best. Remember that time when Pancake Palace had that all-you-can-eat deal, but they didn't set a time limit? I ate pancakes for a week for $3.99. All I had to do was sleep there and never shower.
Scully: What? Thanks for the invite, friend.