Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 7627

Quote from Jake in the episode White Whale

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, we can do that. How much work can that possibly be?
Jake: Here are Amy's instructions. "Place eight Jordan almonds two pink, two blue, two white, and two purple at the center of the organza square. Draw the corners to a point and use the two-centimeter ribbon to cinch into a mini-bag." Good lord.
Sergeant Jeffords: That doesn't sound so bad.
Jake: That's step one of 38.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

 ‘White Whale’ Quotes

Quote from Jake

Jake: Where did I put them? Let's see. I had them in my left hand, and then I went to open the trunk, so I switched to my right hand. Oh, but then I had to sneeze, and I thought, "I don't want to sneeze on these keys." Dr. Seuss. Not really, but should be. "Do not sneeze on my keys. Do not wheeze on my keys. Do not sneeze on your knees on my keys, if you please."
Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, could you please move along on this thought journey?
Jake: Yeah, right, sorry. Okay, so then I put them on top of a plastic tub, which is locked inside the car. The keys are locked inside the car!
Sergeant Jeffords: Why?!

Quote from Gina

Gina: What are we looking for? Can you describe the envelope?
Captain Holt: It was a white number ten. It's the same kind you use to send fan mail to yourself.
Gina: I've never done that, but I do know what envelopes my fans use, so that's very helpful.

Quote from Captain Holt

Olivia Crawford: Half of the committee supports John Kelly, and the other half is divided between the two of us.
Captain Holt: We're splitting the vote.
Olivia Crawford: So for either of us to have a chance, one of us needs to step aside.
Captain Holt: Exactly.
Olivia Crawford: You should drop out.
Captain Holt: Is what you said to yourself in the mirror this morning instead of checking your eye for goop. And I agree. You should drop out.
Olivia Crawford: Is what you said to yourself in the mirror this morning while polishing your head.

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