Sergeant Jeffords: We're sorry we doubted you, sir. You really saved our butts.
Captain Holt: I can't take credit for that. Gina Linetti is the real hero here.
Gina: But isn't Gina Linetti more of a state of mind? Like, in a way, we were all Gina Linetti today. Gina, let's take this Gina to the hospital.

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Gina: Have you seen Captain Holt? Tall, handsome gentleman dressed like an airline pilot.

Captain Holt: The cops are looking for us, and a madman wants us dead.
We should be laying low until the Nine-Nine gets here.
Jake: Yeah, but we don't know when that's gonna be, and we need food and supplies.
Captain Holt: Okay, I'll get some water.
Jake: Holt, are you trying to draw attention to us? Nobody drinks water here.
Choose something blue or green.

Amy: Ooh, we're crossing into Virginia. Virginia is not technically a state, but a commonwealth.
Rosa: Oof, poor Jake.

Captain Holt: Are you hurt?
Jake: Yeah. I got caught on top of the fence. Check out my calf it's like Scratch City. How about you?
Captain Holt: I'm fine, except I was impaled on a metal pipe.
Jake: Oh, my God! [looking away and back again] Oh, my God! It's going to be fine. [looking away and back again] Oh, my God!