Gina: I'm not saying you're lying, Mr. Jeffords, but if that's how things went down, why is Veronica so angry, you stupid liar?
Sergeant Jeffords: I don't know.
Gina: You don't know? Well, we could stay here all night until your story starts making sense.

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Gina: Have you seen Captain Holt? Tall, handsome gentleman dressed like an airline pilot.

Gina: We've been going for a while you feeling hungry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Starving, thanks. [Gina throws the yogurt against the wall] Oh, come on!
Gina: You get a yogurt when I get the truth.
Amy: Oh God, it's in the grout. It's gonna smell in here forever.

Charles: My point is, I'm worried that Veronica will never forgive Terry. Is there anyone above her that you can appeal to?
Captain Holt: She reports to Deputy Commissioner Grayson. I've already tried to set up a meeting with him. He's on vacation with his family in the Poconos.
Charles: Okay, so maybe we find out where he's staying and just happen to run into him and accidentally strike up a little convo about the Nine-Nine.
Captain Holt: That seems rather underhanded.
Charles: Desperate times call for Desperate Housewives.
Captain Holt: What?
Charles: Measures. I said measures.

Rosa: Hey, man. We gotta be cool, all right? I know you have some fantasy about being a movie star.
Jake: I don't fantasize about being a movie star. I fantasize about meeting one. And being invited to a party at George Clooney's villa, where he pranks me and then we prank Matt Damon together and then Damon's like "Peralta, you got the goods. You're gonna be the star of my next movie." Wait, maybe I do want to be a movie star.