Jake: Gina, big news. Terry's friend got back to us and he says they're doing security for Bayside High's number one wrestler: A.C. Slater. That's right, Mario Lopez.
Gina: Oh, my God. I had such a big crush on him.
Jake: Yeah, we all had a big crush on A.C. Slater. Get in line! [laughs] I'll be cooler when we meet him.
Gina: I should hope so.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Gina: Hey, Craptain, you ready to get curb stomped?
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Gina: At chess.
Captain Holt: We have a weekly match. I'm teaching Gina to play. And she, in turn, is teaching me to trash talk. The hospital called. Your test results came back positive. You're a stage five dumbass.
Gina: Oh! You have come so far.

Gina: But I do know the names. I've simply rebranded them. My queen is Rihanna.
My king is Beyonce. And this little guy is Kevin. Would you be willing to murder Kevin, the love of your life?
Captain Holt: Yes. Chess Kevin means nothing to me.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is crazy. I can't imagine the Nine-Nine without you.
Gina: Don't worry. I have a parting gift for all of you. I printed "Time for Gina's Opinion" hoodies for you with your names on them. Oh, there you go.
Jake: Oh, that's fun. So like "Time for Jake's Opinion"?
Gina: What are you, insane? No. It says "Time for Gina's Opinion" in large text on the back and then your names are stitched really tiny on the front.
Jake: Ah.
Gina: I had to guess at some of the spellings.
Amy: Arnie?