Jake: But here's what I'm thinking, I call the State Department-
Charles: You've done enough, Jake.
Jake: That's nice of you to say, but-
Charles: My tone wasn't nice.
Jake: But your tone is always nice with me. Wait a minute. Are you mad?
Charles: Yes, because you butted into a situation you shouldn't have. You need to keep your butt in your pants.
Jake: My butt was only out because you said you wanted Gintars gone.
Charles: Well, thanks to your butt, Nikolaj feels like he's been abandoned all over again.
Jake: Okay, but my butt was the one that got them together in the first place. I don't feel like my butt is getting credit for that.
Charles: Well, that's because your butt was inappropriate then too. Your butt should have never been a part of this. So now I gotta go clean up the big nasty mess that your butt made.
Jake: But my butt no but- My butt no but!

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle! Were you dreaming about Jake again?
Charles: Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Gintars: It's gift for Nikolaj.
Charles: Nikolaj?
Jake: How do you know Charles's son?
Gintars: My name is Gintars. From Latvia. I am Nikolaj birth father.
Charles: Ohh! Nikolaj's birth father who I'd never hope to meet. Very cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, c-c-c-c-c [passes out]

Dr. Ronald Yee: The flies don't sense blood. They're just regular flies.
Amy: But, Dr. Yee, you can't be a fraud. You gave a TED Talk.

Amy: What are you saying out of your weird face?
Rosa: We put the flies near fresh blood, and nothing happened. They didn't react at all.
Captain Holt: Do you know how stupid these accusations sound? Diaz, you're fired.
Rosa: What?
Amy: Dr. Yee is one of the most respected forensic experts in the country.
Captain Holt: For you two - let's not mince words - common fools to suggest that you found the flaw in this brilliant man's-
Dr. Ronald Yee: They're right.