Captain Holt: Almonds, nice choice.
Jocelyn: Oh, thanks. They're, uh they're not for me. They're for my girlfriend, Detective Diaz.
Captain Holt: Oh, you must be Jocelyn.
Jocelyn: What? No, I'm Denise. Who's Jocelyn? Is Rosa cheating on me?
Captain Holt: Oh, my-
Jocelyn: No, that was a joke. I'm sorry, I thought it would be funny. I am Jocelyn.
Captain Holt: Oh, that was actually very funny. I didn't know what was happening, and then I thought I knew what was happening, but what I thought I knew was happening wasn't what was happening. That's very good.
Jocelyn: You must be Captain Holt.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Captain Holt: [on the phone] Kevin, they're not coming. Yes, I know you've already started soaking the rice. Couldn't we just eat it ourselves? I understand you purchased four portions of rice. Yes, that's a great idea. We'll eat the extra rice for breakfast. I love you, as well.

Jake: Okay, unlike Kooky Charles and Tearful Terry, I am healthy and don't need therapy.
Hitchcock: I hear that. I don't go to therapy either. Jake and I are like two penises in a pod.
Jake: Damn it, Hitchcock, we talked about this. It never helps when you back me up.

Jake: Behold, Brooklyn buddies, Boyle bullpen bottle bowling.
Charles: Beautiful.
Jake: Be brave, bro. Be brave. Bowl!
Rosa: Bam!
Charles: Bull's-eye!
Jake: Booyah!
Elderly Eastern European Woman: Babushka!
All: Babushka!