Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Funeral
Jake: Well, I know you love hot goss, so you probably heard Amy and I are dating.
Amy: And we would love your approval.
Jake: No.
Amy: But, that's not what this is about.
Jake: It sure is not. Sir, the Vulture is out of control, all right. He told me if I don't dump Amy, he's going to demote me. You gotta help us.
Captain Holt: Let me stop you right there, Peralta. I'm not the Chief of Detectives. I'm not the Vulture's boss. I'm just some guy in PR.
Amy: But we thought-
Captain Holt: I can't save your ass. I don't work here any more. And the sooner your accept that, the better.
Quote from the episode Ding Dong
Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.
Quote from the episode Payback
Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.
Quote from Gina
Charles: Hey, G-Spot!
Gina: Rosa, Charles. Ugh, I missed you guys so much.
Rosa: Really? Because when you left, you made a pretty big deal about deleting us from your phone.
Gina: Girl, that was just the showman in me.
PR is so boring. I need some Nine-Nine drama, stat.
Rosa: I don't think we're that dramatic.
Gina: I've been gone one week. Jake and Amy are dating and they've killed a person.
Quote from Charles
Amy: Listen, guys. Jake and I were talking last night-
Charles: Pillow talk alert. Set the scene, spooning or face to face?
Jake: Charles.
Charles: Spooning.
Quote from Sergeant Jeffords
Sergeant Jeffords: Move over, Peralta! Move over! Okay. And if I may do a third toast, it'll be focused primarily on the mango yogurt.
*Audience groans*
Don't boo me! I lost something important too, shoot!