Rosa: Listen, Denise, I felt personally attacked when you included sesame bagels at the bagel brunch knowing full well I'm allergic. I developed a rash.
Captain Holt: Says you, Ainsley. I believe food allergies are a hoax. Perhaps your rash is from all that makeup you wear. This is an office, not some downtown dancery.
Brad Portenburg: Okay, great. Now, in this roleplay, who can tell me what went wrong?
Amy: Denise should have made reasonable accommodations given Ainsley's medical issue. Ainsley unnecessarily heightened the conflict by assuming that Denise had a personal vendetta, and Denise shouldn't have responded to Ainsley's complaint with an ad hominem attack.
Sergeant Jeffords: My thoughts exactly.
Captain Holt: I concur.
Rosa: Yep.

Amy: Sir, I'm sure you had your reasons for going to Peralta, but this is exactly the type of job I would love to have.
Captain Holt: Okay, the next time someone threatens to kill me, I'll come straight to you.
Amy: Thank you, sir. I can't wait. I didn't mean- Let's catch this bastard.

Jake: You might wanna stand back for this, sir. It can get pretty intense.
Amy: [YELLING] All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-state ambulance rides. Scully will fake a medical emergency.
Scully: Don't need to fake it. Always having at least one.
Amy: Great. You call an ambulance and have it take us here to Monroe, Louisiana. The ambulance can drive 25 miles over the posted speed limit, so we'll get there by 9:00 p.m. There's a small airport there, mostly servicing crop dusters. Of course, they can't take passengers, but thanks to a loophole in H.R. 377551, police officers are allowed to commandeer any plane in the interest of national security. The crop duster will land at an airstrip outside of Finksburg, Maryland. We'll take a cab to Baltimore, jump on the 6:48 a.m. train to New York, arriving at 9:26. Kevin will meet us at Penn Station with a fresh Captain's uniform. From there, it's a 29-minute cab ride to One Police Plaza. You change on the way, and we should get to your meeting with five minutes to spare. Stop clapping, you idiots! We gotta move, move, move!
Jake: I love her.

Jake: And our second option is surveillance footage of Detective Amy Santiago soliciting drugs using perfect grammar.
Amy: It's not that weird to say, "may I have some cocaine?"
Jake: It is.

Adrian Pimento: Uh, I'm scared of heights, Jake.
Jake: Yeah, so am I, Adrian.
Adrian Pimento: This might not be the time to tell you, but both my parents died falling out of lighthouses, separate incidents.
Jake: Oh, man, I have so many questions, but for now, just follow my lead, okay?

Jake: So you still annoyed?
Amy: Yes. You can't keep saying "mischief managed" after we finish sex.
Jake: It's what Harry Potter says when he needs to clear the Marauder's Map.
Amy: Obviously, I know that, but I would prefer to keep wizard terms out of our sex life.

Sergeant Jeffords: Before we wrap up this briefing, I wanted to give a few shout-outs. Diaz, great job on that B&E. You are a good cop with a great attitude.
Rosa: I don't like this.
Sergeant Jeffords: Santiago, when I think of your CompStat reports, one word comes to mind: wow. And that "WOW" is an acronym for "Wow, oh, wow. "
Amy: What is happening?
Captain Holt: He's buttering us up before giving us some devastatingly bad news. My God, Jake and Charles are dead.