Quote from Jake in the episode The Jimmy Jab Games II
Amy: What the hell are you doing? Why did you just bet our new car?
Jake: Because it's fun. And because it's who I am. I mean, remember all those crazy bets we used to make when you were falling in love with me?
Amy: I remember the bets we made when I found you obnoxious and difficult to be around.
Jake: Yes, those bets. See, you remember. This is just like that.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Operation Broken Feather
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: So Diaz, I figured out why you wanna win. I hacked your work calendar.
Rosa: Those calendars are public. Everyone on the system has access.
Captain Holt: I hacked it. I'm a hacker.
Quote from Jake
Charles: Damn it, my pants. Sorry, everyone. Look away, look away.
Jake: Oh, damn.
Amy: Wow, who knew?
Jake: He really is the greatest showman.
Quote from Hitchcock
Charles: Okay, here we go, everyone. The game begins when the elevator doors ding. Are you ready for the Hellevator?
Hitchcock: Buckle up. The juice is loose! I am, Hitchcock!
Jake: What the [bleep]?